Sunday, November 2, 2008

Realization

There was this man who hurt me sooo much. He made me believe that love is existent. He made me believe that I can be loved and that I can love. Alas! The irony. It hurts a lot that I decided to totally dump every memory that I have about him - things, people, places, events. I thought I had moved on. But i haven't.

I tried to straighten out things with some people whom I have learned to love. But now, upon seeing his happy face, I thought that I should forget about it. Leave it as it is. The ties have been broken, the knots have been loosen. There are no more attachments, no more commitment, nothing, but him and me, without the slash but with the space, no more or. But the songs are still playing, the lyrics are not only sung but recited, the melody still raw and blowing in the wind, tingling my skin. The poems are still being recited, the words being spoken, sweet, caressing, assuring, tempting. A nice experience indeed. Indeed, a nice experience.



That's why I am still holding on to the past, hopeful. Still following from a distance. Hiding behind the shadows, grieving for the loss, but still hoping for hope.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Song For You




the song says it all...:-((

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Friendships Lost (Scars that Can Never Heal)

I see your smile
I know your mind
No words need be said
I understand.

Focused on each other
We listen and we care
Laughter ripples like water
Together, we are.

Others are here, yes,
And we value them, yes,
But a special bond remains,
A line between us two.

Each friendship is special
Each is unique
And so is ours
We know.

And then time begins to roll
and rear it’s ugly head
Change begins
Now a little less than before.

Slowly, surely,
Not knowing why
Faster, stronger, without care
Our world shifts and shimmers and splits.

Shattered shards cascade down
Spurred by angry, lashing words
Contorted faces, stone deaf ears
Outside the whirlwind,
We die inside.

The scars run deep
Jagged clefts in our souls
We have suceeded in hurting
And hurt ourselves.

So you move on
And I remain
We keep on living
Turn our faces apart.

Now I glance across
At you from outside
Shaded eyes dry with tears
New friends, new life.

Laughter, smiling (clenched teeth)
The flippant toss of the head
The enclosure surrounds you
I cannot come near.

From behind my glass window
I know more than those within
I see the hurt in your eyes
I know the pain in your smile
I have been there before - I love you
Why do you pretend?

I hate to see your pain
And I cry inside
Tears deep within my soul
I cannot help you anymore.

What we had once
We can never have again.

The scars run deep,
But I still care.

You were my friend.

Friday, October 5, 2007